Going to college has been (and still is) a tough adjustment for me.  Transitioning to dorm life and so much changing in my social life all at once has really switched around everything that built up the past few (happiest) months of my life.  The last post I wrote before leaving for college was some lessons I learned this year and upon going back to it and rereading the lessons that made the months before college some of the happiest made me realize how I have lost track of every single one of them.  And even going back to my post on my self-care routine that, again, made me so happy and healthy, I saw how every part of it has been pushed back to the point of never revisiting.

For the first time since February, I didn’t work out for weeks at a time.  I have a gym about 500 ft from my door but went irregularly at best and skipped workouts for weeks on end.  My beloved 8fit workout routine was completely trashed and I lost so much confidence from the loss of control over my diet and workout routine.  Now that I’ve realized it, I’ve been spending my grocery money on veggies, greek yogurt, peanut butter and fruit so I can have healthy snacks whenever I’m hungry.  I also have set up times in my schedule to go to the gym a few times a week and I’m really looking forward to taking that time out of my homework, classes, work and social life to shut off for a while and exercise.

Finding time to be alone in a dorm setting can be really hard.  With people constantly knocking on my door and my roommate coming and going, it can be tough to find time to read, take a nap, sit down and paint and just be alone for a while.  I’ve found comfort in my solo working lunches and need to start to treasure those times a bit more and accept this “new normal” of less alone time than I was used to before.  It’s all about this new normal that I have to get used to.

My art and coloring/ painting took a huge back seat the past 6 weeks.  I’ve pulled out my paints twice and colored only once.  The biggest thing I found a lot of comfort in in 2018 was art and being creative so pushing that off so much really has made a difference in my happiness.  Now that I’ve restarted my job here and I get to be in such a creative and happy place for a few hours a week I’m starting to prioritize art more.

I think the only part of my self-care routine that I’ve maintained is my morning coffee.  No matter what time I have to leave for class, I always wake up in time to drink my coffee.  But now onto those 2018 lessons I lost track of…

1. The whole Do Your Own Thing that I put as #1 on the most important lesson I learned this year.

   I haven’t been doing my own thing, I’ve been putting nearly all my energy in getting through each day that I haven’t made the time to do any of the things that make me happy.  Time to get back to what I love.

2. Standing up for myself has been super hard for me with living with a roommate for the first time in my life.

   I’ve had a hard time picking what I need to actually bring up and what I need to just get used to.  It’s time to sort that out and start asking for what I need.

3. Mindset makes all the difference.

   Wow have I been lacking on this one.  Time to get my mindset back in line and in a more positive state for sure.  Stay tuned on that one.

4. Be open to new connections and friendships.

   This is probably the most important part of transitioning to college and I think what will help me work on this is just taking a deep breath and trying letting go of a lot of the guards and reservations that are holding me back from trying all these new things and making new friends.

5. Make the most of the little things.

   This always makes my days so much brighter so I should put a little more effort into paying attention to the little things that make up my days and what makes each day good.

This has been a massive reflection on the last two months, a little sad but hopeful.  Despite it not being a new month, I can still have a fresh start tomorrow and hopefully start feeling more like myself.